Prompt #15
What should the prompt be?
Well, perhaps this is a question that the teacher should be answering. After all, we students have had a long, hard semester. Now is not the time to be expecting anything creative out of us. But alas, our English teacher is hoping against hope that this class is different. That this class has actually retained enough from his cryptic, thought and question provoking comments that we will be able to come up with something good. I must say that the topic of Iraqi strippers did tempt me, but I decided that most likely the only people over there stripping would be the American soldiers dancing around at a makeshift Christmas party wearing nothing but Santa hats. OK, wishful thinking on my part, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Hey, they did it in the movie Jarhead!(A good movie, by the way. You really should watch it.)Let's see. Then there was the day my life turned to shit. Well, that could be construed in one way or another to be any day in my life, depending on what facet of my life happened to be crappy. Remember, nothing is ever perfect. But who wants to hear about that anyways? I've done enough bitching, moaning, and complaining in my blog this semester that even my computer wants to wrap its hands around my neck and squeeze. As far as hunting and deer:I think not. So there we have it folks. My last prompt in College Composition 101 with John Goldfine.And what a long, strange trip it's been...

Prompt #14
Jesus loves me. Does he? Who the hell is this Jesus character anyways? Ever watch the Davinci Code? Although it may be a fictional story, it does make the moviegoer very aware that there are some pretty big holes in his story. Have you ever thought about the fact that there is nothing written about this cat from the time he was 12 to the time he was 30? What exactly was he doing during all of that time anyways? I'm sure that if he was out walking on water and healing sick people with a tiny touch that we would have heard about it. What if he was married to Mary Magdelene? What would that mean? Well, for starters, it would mean that the church is full of crap-no big surprise there. But it might also mean that he was a mere mortal man. The Buddhists Believe that anyone can be a Buddha, or enlightened one. Basically, that is what the Christians think of Jesus. That he was basically a god. In the story Siddhartha, a mere mortal man learns enough in one lifetime that one day, while he sat under the bohdi tree, he became enlightened and was reborn. He was reborn into his final life, completely aware of all of his previous lives. Now, I realize that this isn't exactly the same as the story of Jesus. But it certainly is close enough that it makes me wonder: What version of the story should we believe when they are both so similar that it raises some serious doubts in something that is supposed to be completely unquestionable truth?

Stephanie Grinnan
Practice Final




“Money, get away. Get a good job with good pay and you’re okay. Money, it’s a gas. Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash”.
Boy didn’t they have it right. Money influences everything that we do today. For me, money is the driving force behind just about everything that I do. Now, don’t get me wrong; I hate money. I believe that without the politics behind money and religion, this world would be without war. Unfortunately, however, this world won’t be changing anytime soon. So, like so many other nobodies in this world, I have to join the rat race and do whatever I can to get my hands on some cash. In the past, I made my way through various low paying jobs to make ends meet. Right now, I am currently going to college to pave my money making road for the future, all the while working my behind off to scrape through for the next 2 years. After college, I plan to get a good, hopefully high paying job to zoom my way to financial freedom.

My first real full time job was at Big Squaw Mountain Ski Resort in Greenville, Maine. I started working there shortly after I left my ex husband. It was definitely a new experience for me, as before I had only ever worked part time and taken care of my daughter at home. I started out working at the top of the triple chair, basically making sure that no one broke their neck while getting off the ramp. If anyone fell, I was supposed to hit this big red button to make the lift stop. Sounds hard, doesn’t it? Well, the fun doesn’t stop there. I also had to radio back and forth to the lift operator at the bottom whenever I stopped the lift to let him know when to start it back up again. Eventually, I was given the pleasure of running the front desk at the hotel on the mountain. I liked this job much better, as the day went by so much faster. I answered the phones, dealt with customers, and ran the cash register. The only problem that I had with working up at the Mountain was that I was only being paid $6.50 per hour. This was unacceptable. After I left the mountain, I worked at a few other places, mostly low paying, and between the horrid hours and the constant layoffs (a side effect of living in the north woods), I finally decided that the only way to get myself and my daughter through the next 18 or so years would be to take the time to go to college and get my behind educated.

After I was layed off from a relatively well paying job at Moosehead Cedar Log Homes, I decided that I needed to get it together. In a week’s time, I took my accuplacer, applied for financial aid, decided on a major, and applied to Eastern Maine Community College. After years of being bored with my work, I made the decision to go to school for something that I truly enjoyed: Automotive Technology .With many raised eyebrows from friends and family, I packed up the moving truck and headed for the big city of Bangor, Maine. Since I was collecting unemployment, there was no way that I could afford to pay the exorbitant rent prices that are typical to this area, so I applied for an apartment over in Capehart, the ghetto of Bangor. After much run around, I was leased an apartment for $276 dollars per month, utilities included. Not bad. I started school in August, and boy, what a slap in the face it has been. I was under the impression that this would be easy! Not so…Between the constant homework in college comp, to the various assortment of bruises and cuts as a side effect of being in the shop 20+ hours per week, I am exhausted! With winter break coming up, though, I’ll finally be able to take some time for myself, right? Wrong! I decided that the only way that I will be able to work during my second year of school (my unenjoyment, as I have affectionately termed it, runs out in May of 2007) would be to get as many of my gen ed classes out of the way as possible. This means that during every winter term, spring term, and summer break, I will be forgoing my chance at some college style partying in favor of slaving away at the laptop. But, as I said, I’m here to get my behind educated, not to screw around.

Hopefully, if all goes well, I will be graduating from this fine establishment in May of 2008. By then, I will hopefully have passed all of my classes and will be ready to enter the workforce. Even though I am going to school for automotive technology, I don’t plan on being a service technician. I would like to go for a job as a service advisor. Over at Darlings Honda, the dealership behind the campus, there is a lady named Bobby Jo that works as one of head service writers. She graduated from the same program that I am going through and is making over $1000 per week. She, like me, had a background in administrative and office work, so that combined with her degree made her a shoe in for the job. My only concern, before I heard about Bobby Jo, was that maybe the dealerships wouldn’t want to hire me because I am a woman. But now that I have talked with Bobby Jo and also my teacher, Mike Beland, I feel pretty confident that my education here will pay off. As Mike said, if you think about it, a lot of the customers that the service departments deal with are woman. What better way to attract more female customers than to have a woman behind the desk waiting with a smile and an understanding and patient attitude? The only thing that I need to work on before then is to not let the constant use of profane language that is typical in the shop seep its way into my normal vocabulary. Something tells me that it wouldn’t be too awful impressive in a job interview.

If I take a good long look at my life now compared to how my life was 5 years ago, I can definitely see that I have made some pretty progressive steps toward being able to rake in the cash for years to come. As long as I can keep my head above water for the next year and a half, and stay on target with my classes, then I should be golden. Yesterday, I had a meeting with a lady named Judy Holt. Judy works for Training and development Corporation. They are the folks that helped me pay for all of my automotive tools so that I could go to school. (TDC works with unemployment and aids displaced workers with funds to assist with education or retraining) During the meeting, we talked about what my plans were for securing a job after school was all done. I told her about my aspirations as a service advisor. She said that recently the State of Maine has been pushing TDC to recommend folks, in particular woman in non traditional fields, for their apprenticeship program. This program helps to find a job, negotiate salary increases, and also to pay for any additional training that the employer says that the person needs to do their job well. So between that and everything else I seem to have going for me, my money making days are flying towards me at lightning speeds.

Prompt #13
The buck stops here! The other night, Monday to be exact, my daughter decided to pull yet another one of her atrocious fits. I had made a yummy dinner of sausage and peppers. In the last few weeks, I have gotten so sick of her constant attitude about everything and her aversion to any food except for macaroni and cheese that I decided that she would no longer be allowed to get anything special for dinner. She would have to eat everything that Aaron and I eat. So there we were, sitting in my cozy little livingroom getting ready to dig in. As always, I had put Stephanies plate in front of her first, so she had a 5 minute head start on us. I looked over, and she was staring at the sausage and pepper grinder like it was a pile of steaming you know what. I asked her what the problem was. She told me that she didn't want it because it had something green in it. I explained to her that that was a pepper, and that I had cooked it long enough that it would taste just like everything else in the sandwich-she wouldn't even be able to tell. I told her to at least taste it-she might like it. Arms got crossed and lips were pursed quicker than I could say Grounded! Again, I told her that she needed to try the sandwich. Again she stamped her foot on the couch and gave me a dirty look. It was a showdown-me versus a 7 year old. Well. This was definately a fight I was not willing to lose........

Half an hour later, and we had accomplished nothing. This little girl is stubborn! Ok then. THE BUCK STOPS HERE! Go to bed I said. Go to bed and when you get up in the morning you can have that same sandwich for breakfast. And if you won't eat it then, you can have it for dinner. You're bound to get hungry sometime!....

Two days later, and she's still holding out. At this point, she's eaten half of the sandwich, along with apparently huge lunches at school. So here we go-groundation until the point where she has given us no problems about dinner for 7 consecutive days. And when I say groundation, I mean no priveledges whatsoever. No activities at the Y, no friends over, no t.v., no nothing! Ahhh the joys of parenthood...

Graf #14
As much as I would like to have a whole bunch to say about the contrast essays, I really don't. None of them impressed me very much. Not because they weren't well written, but because it's getting towards the end of the semester and quite frankly, I've had enough of essays. I have always hated writing them. But what I hate even more is reading other peoples. And in this class, I'm pretty much forced to read other peoples because how else would I write these incredibly interesting grafs about them? I suppose I could probably come up with some way to be able to write the grafs without actually reading them. Maybe I could just read some of the other reaction grafs and pick and choose little bits and pieces from them. Goldfine will never know...Or will he?

Graf #13
I'm not entirely sure what the assignment list means when it says" post a graf of your own research history". Does this mean research in general, or research for the ISearch? Well, I'm going to go with research in general. Since I dropped out of high school in the 10th grade and got my good enough diploma, I was exempt from the horrendous research papers that my fellow students endured for the last 3 years of high school. However, I did get married at the age of 16, along with having a baby at the same age. So I guess that you could say I've done my fair share of research. Research from where to buy the cheapest diapers to how my ex husbands credit score was when we were trying to buy our house. I was always the one to take care of all of those things.I was the one who looked into the car insurance options, the mysterious foreign number charges on the phone bill, and the best place to go out for dinner on a sunday night in Quebec. I have to say that even though it was all a big pain in the rear at the time, it has definately benefited me in the long run. And as my ex husband is crying because he can't get his life together, I'm sitting pretty with all of my cheap groceries, great car insurance, and a fabulous sunday dinner.

Prompt #12
O.K. So I'm starting to run out of steam with these prompts. This weeks (well technically 3 weeks ago, but who's counting....) choices are not really seeming all that appealing to me. Lets take a look at the options, shall we?

52. No telling what he was thinking behind those dark glasses: all that I can think about for this one is the old aviator styyle mirrored sunglasses that the hiway troopers used to wear...considering my recent brush with the law, I'd prefer not to think about that...

53. Robin Redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage:You know I like birds. So much so, in fact, that I hung up a nice bird feeder on my back porch out in Capehart this summer. I even filled it up with the expensive bird seed. Do you think any bird in his right mind would venture out here to the ghetto? Of course not...The damn thing is still full.

54. Headin' down the hiway, lookin' for adventure....:I've had enough of the hiway...it gets me into trouble...

55. Love at first sight?:Well you'd think what with my ISearch being about love that this would be a primo topic for me...Christ between the ISearch and my personal life I have enough love to choke a horse...case closed!!!

56. Injustice in small things, injustice in large ones.:The world is full of injustices...Way more than I would like to think about right at the moment.Damn that District Attorney in Skowhegan...

A. New seeds in Pro-Mix--there's something wrong with starting seeds in something with a name like that...:Hmmm...the only thing that this topic does for me is to remind me of my lack of aviary friends in my backyard...

B. Railroad cars scattered all over the landscape like toys....:My personal life(or lackthereof) is enough of a train wreck to fill up 15 weeks of freestyles..I think I'll leave it be thank you very much.

C. If you lived in the city without chores to do, what the hell would you do on a rainy day?:Well thats easy...I would catch up on all of my College Composition homework that I have been slacking off on!

D. Toys scattered all over the landscape like...well, not railroad cars....:Looking around my apartment right now, I would say this would accurately describe the "landscape".PLEASE DON'T REMIND ME!!!

Prompt #11
What god hath put asunder, let no man repair. Well I would say that this would apply to just about every vehicle in the automotive shop right now. We have so many junk vehicles over there it's sickening. The most sickening one of all, however, is my 1994 Ford Ranger. I bought that truck a year and a half ago. I can still remember the Uncle Henrys ad: 1994 Ford Ranger, Green, 58,000 original miles. Excellent shape. $1700 OBO. Ahh yes, the magic words...Or best offer. The old man that I ended up buying the truck from seemed so sincere. Oh yes. We've just had it inspected, and the mechanic said that everything was in great shape. Oh sure I'll take $1500 for it...Drive it away. Right. I should have known something was fishy. Since that day, I have gotten the old odometer up to 80,440 miles. You wouldn't think that this would be much. I wouldn't have thought that either. But upon close inspection, I found that the underside of my Ford is so rusted that the frame could break if I hit a bump just right. The front end has chunks of metal peeling off. When I put the truck on the lift, the lift arm went right through the soft wrotted metal that once served as the leaf spring hanger. So, unfortunately, instead of fixing up my truck and driving, I have to resort to plan B, which is to part the old beast out and make some money out of her that way. What god hath put asunder, let no man repair. Well let me say this: The only thing that would be able to fix that truck would be an act of god, so I suppose that I have made the right decision.

Prompt #10
The past as prologue. We all have skeletons in our closets.Every time that dusty door swings open they rattle and swing around and try to get a glimpse of the light of day. Of course, as soon as they even get close, we swing the door shut and leave them moaning behind us again. But they are always with us. Always in the back of our minds is a lingering memory of the past. Sometimes, as in the case of the skeletons, it is a memory that we wish not to remember, and sometimes it is a wonderful memory that, no matter how hard we try, slowly slips away like sand through our fingers. Whatever those memories are, we wouldn't be the same without them. Think about: lets say that tomorrow you step out into the street without looking and you get hit by a bus. You spend 6 months in the hospital recovering. Do you think that when you leave the first thing you do will be to step out into the street again without a care in the world? I think not. Every time you teeter off the sidewalk, if you can even bring yourself to do that, will be a moment dripping with anxiety and memories of the BAT squishing you into the freshly layed asphault on State Street. This little story goes farther than near death experiences though. Even the most inane little moment in time can haunt us for years to come. Take the inappropriate comment, for example. It only takes 5 seconds for a comment laced with innuendo to escape the lips of an employee, but it will take years of litigation and money to settle out of court. So yes. The past is a prologue. Every day, we experience something new. And each new experience makes us a different person. It effects how we interact with other people, how we do our jobs, how we drive, and about a million other little things that make us us. Let's just hope that our personal prologues stay readable and not boring and dark and gloomy.

Prompt #9
Sometimes humans are defined as tool-using animals. Nowadays, the scientists talk about chimps both making and using tools, but, hey, we're Number One! Tools in their chests, drawers, and wallracks; tools scattered on the table; tools used and unused, new and old; tools of love, tools of war, tools of work, tools of play. Tools can say a lot.
Tools can say a lot. Mine say that I was too cheap to go ahead and by them myself. Yes, I took the easy way out and let good old unemployment pay for them. So far, they have payed for $1500 dollars worth of tools for me-and thats only for the first semester. All told, at the end of my second year at EMCC I will have a $4,000 dollar tool collection. You would think that $1500 dollars would pay for quite a bit. But in reality, I really only have the basics. What I really need to go out and buy are some organizers for all of my sockets. Open the top drawer of my little red craftsman tool box and you'll probably wonder why mice haven't made their nest among the ruins in there. I probably have just about every size, whether it be 1/2, 1/4, or 3/8 drive . The problem being that all of them are all just thrown into the drawer like red headed step children. It takes me 5 minutes just to find the right size socket to go with the right size ratchet. What a waste of time! Considering that I have been going to school since the last week of August, you'd think that I would have gotten things together. So let's see: So far my tools have told you that I'm cheap, lazy, and prone to procrastination. Should I let them continue? Nice try Goldfine, but I don't think so.

graf #12
The only sample classification essay that really held any interest for me was the first one. It was basically about snakes and snails and puppy dog tails being used as an analogy for different types of men. She's right you know. *Most* men can be summed up into one of those categories. In fact, I have dated more than one of each of those, and every one could be described similarly to the way she described her experience with each of her snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. It's funny how so many girls have some of the same problems with men. Now I'm sure than men could say the same thing about woman. But why is it that you hear so much more complaining about men being sleazeballs than woman being well, bitches? I suppose that answer lies with each of us. The answer that lies with me would be the fact that as a woman, not too many men would be using me as an avenue of woman bashing.

graf #11
Gosh I certainly wish that I had written this graf sooner. It seems like my cause essay was a million years ago. I had written it about Wylie, who also seems like a million years away. At that time, I couldn't see anything but him. Despite the way he treated me, I was blinded by my lust for him. So blinded that I wasted a good piece of writing on him. But regardless, It will always be something that I can look back on and remember that things can be very misleading if you let them. It truly is scary how we all have the ability to talk ourselves in and out of things that we know we should or shouldn't be doing. I know that we are supposed to be intelligent beings, but what good is that going to do us if we can't use it constructively?

Prompt #8
This fist has got Pow pow power! Of course, this fist only has power if I was up against, oh I dont know, let say a comatose person. I've never considered myself to be very strong physically. My strength lies in my mind. The thing is, that physical strength fades, but barring any type of mental illness, brain power doesn't. Mental and emotional strength can also grow exponentially, unlike physical strength. There is always a limit to how much you're body can take in the way of muscle strength and endurance. But now matter how hard you try, you will find that there is no end to the amount you can learn. And I'm not talking about just book smarts. I'm talking about people smarts. If you are open minded enough, then you can always figure more out about the world and the people in it, and in doing that, you can learn an unlimited amount about yourself.

Freestyle #15
Wow. I cannot believe that I have been at this for 15 weeks. It just doesn't seem possible. I mean, a year ago I was at the grindstone working for a living and on my own. Now I'm a college student who never stops running from here to there, juggling a kid, bills, homework, and a new boyfriend. But you know, I think that it will all be worth it in the end. Even though sometimes it feels like I'm not learning too awful much, particularly in my gen ed classes, it certainly does feel like I've learned a lot about myself. And I must say Goldfine: your class has definately been one of my favorites-performance warnings, lack of attendance, and porn site flubs included.

Freestyle #14
What is the story with music nowadays? Does it have any meaning anymore? Or is it just that I am getting old and stuck in my ways? I like some of the new music, in particular hip hop and rap. But none of that means a damn thing to me. Nothing more than a good, mindless beat to rock out to in the car when I'm driving too damn fast on the interstate. But when I'm sitting here and trying to finish up a semesters worth of writing, I need music with juice. Music that speaks to me and whispers some words of inspiration into my ear. So I go for the oldies. The Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, and the Janis Joplin. They sing about all of the things that I can't even bring myself to think about, and they do it in such a way that it can help me put a finger on the specific emotion that I'm having difficulty expressing at any given moment. So I guess the point is that I've found the genre that speaks to me and for me. But considering that all of this was made years before I was a twinkle in my mothers eye, maybe I am getting old and stuck in my ways. Perhaps older than my years.

Prompt #6
I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. It seems as though the most inane thing will be later remembered down the line at some point as a turning point; that without that one moment things just wouldn't be the same. Everything that has come and gone so far in my life has shaped me into the individual that I am today. Although some parts of me aren't the best, that's me. Along with all of the neurotic and slightly dark and twisty parts of me come the sweet, funny, and wise parts. Without one, you wouldn't get the other. So even though there have been some pretty bad goings on in my past, I have to remember that if I hadn't have experienced those times, then my life would not be the same right now. Considering my current circumstances, I wouldn't change a thing.

graf #10
I read through some of the sample isearches. I can't say that I only read through them once either. I actually printed one of them out and used it as a model while I squeezed out my first draft in a matter of 2 days. I wasn't particularly impressed with any of them. All pretty dry stuff. In fact, I'm not particularly impressed with any of my writing. I believe that my isearch will probably be the most unimpressive of all. Not because it won't be written somewhat well, but because I just feel like anything that is researched and then crammed into a few pages can be difficult to have any spice to it whatsoever. I am definately a fan of the short assignment. I know, I know, you must be thinking that of course this is my favorite type of assignment. It takes less effort. Well, although that may be partially true, I tend to lean towards the shorter assignments because it's so much easier to put your own thought process right there on the paper.

Freestyle #13
I'm sitting here listening to The Beatles on my laptop. I have 3500 songs stored in windows media player right now. None of them were payed for. Yes, yes I know..I am a criminal. But music is so important to me that it removes the fear from my mind that the feds are going to bust down my door and drag me off to some padded cell where I'll spend the next 10 years paying off my debt to society. The thing is that there really isn't any debt that I feel like I owe to society for downloading some free music. The only debt, if you could call it that, is to some overpaid record company executives that charge 5 times too much for their c.d.s anyway. What is someone supposed to do when they don't have the 17.95 to pay for a c.d., let alone a collection of music? Are they just supposed to go without, or listen to the same 15 songs that the radio stations play over and over and over? To me, music can put words to so many emotions that I just can't describe by myself, and until the day comes when I can afford that 17.95 c.d., I'll take my chances with the 5-0, the fuzz, and whoever else who decides that they want to take away one of my few sources of sanity.

freestyle #12
Ahhh thanksgiving. It's hard to believe that it has already come and gone for another year. Today I spent the holiday with Aarons parents...interesting to say the least. I had already met them a few weeks ago, which actually made the day feel more stressful to start off with. I knew just enough about them to be nervous. But everything turned out ok; no huge disasters. The biggest sketch moment was when myself and Aaron were sitting outside on the porch. I said that I couldn't wait to get home and into bed...meaning a nap...and he said, rather loudly "well I would probably be too tired to have sex after all that turkey"...I looked behind me at the open door and what do I see but his fathers back...way to go...

Example essay

We always think that when we fall in love that it will be for some existential reason, like being saved from a burning building by your lover or being romanced with flowers and impromptu trips to European countries. At the very least, some part of our brain must think that there has to be a large amount of time and drama before we can know for sure that we are in love. I have recently been enlightened to the fact that this is not the case. My boyfriend, Aaron, has shown me that love is found in the little things, and most certainly does not take much time or drama at all to be substantiated.

I met Aaron in the automotive program right here at EMCC. One day, when I was in the shop during the morning class, he just walked up to me out of the blue and said hello. Now, you must understand, I’m not used to such treatment, especially in the shop. Most of the guys floating around the greasy paradise treat me as one of them; just another one of the dirty, smelly, burp spouting members of the class. When we started talking, it felt so natural. It felt like he had been my friend for years, but in reality, he just showed up one day and took a place in my heart.

Being a single mom doesn’t exactly make dating easy. Between the temper tantrums, commitment phobic men, and the lack of time, I would be lucky to attract a psych ward patient. The first time Aaron came over and met Stephie, they hit it off right away. She laughed at his jokes, and he gave her a piggy back ride all the way up our street in the dark; a match made in heaven. Last week, amid performance warnings from college comp and poor test grades in math, stress was running rampant in my messy house. Instead of ducking out and being the typical hands off guy, Aaron helped me clean my apartment, and then spent an hour and a half with my daughter helping her with her math homework. You won’t find that in a burning building.

Everyone in this world is damaged somehow. Every experience that we have affects us, whether it be for the better or for worse. Going through a nasty divorce and having countless failed relationships hasn’t really made me an easy person to deal with. All it takes sometimes is one comment taken the wrong way for me to blow things out of proportion and fly out the door. Partially this is fueled by the other person getting defensive and not being understanding about why I act the way I act. Last week, on the way to Ellsworth, Aaron made a comment about an ex girlfriend of his. It went something to the effect of her being attractive but using it to taunt him with. He went on to add that he loved me because I didn’t do that to him. Now of course, I flew off the handle thinking that he meant that he didn’t find me as attractive as this other girl. But instead of getting defensive and ignoring me, he just talked it out with me, and after that, he held me in his arms and let me know that everything was all right.

If at any time you just look around you, whether it be in your own neighborhood, on the TV. or at a restaurant, you’ll see so many relationships that are based on the drama that comes with people that aren’t really suited for each other. It’s become more of a norm in this country that couples fight and cheat on each other to extract attention instead of just loving and caring for one another. This past weekend, Aaron and I had a bunch of plans to watch movies and to go places. But instead of going out of our way to be together, we spent all of Saturday in bed.(and no, it wasn’t what you think pervert) We were both perfectly satisfied to just lay around and talk and hold eachother; no wine, candles, roses, or trips to European countries involved.

Process Essay

The way I see it, there are certain things in life that we just can’t live without. These include love, air, water, and good food. The first three tend to find their way to us without us having to do an awful lot. The fourth, good food, tends to only find those who either have a lot of money to spend at restaurants, or those who know how to cook. I was never taught how to cook growing up. The closest that I ever got to the kitchen was when mother wasn’t looking and I would steal a cookie or a fingerful of warm apple pie from the cooling rack. When I got married, I found out very quickly that I would need to figure something out and quick if I expected to keep my husband satiated. After spending a few hours in the kitchen appliances section at Wal-Mart, I came across what would soon become my best friend, the crock pot. An inspection of the included cookbook at home revealed that there were many good meals that I could cook in this contraption that required no special talent on my part. The best recipe in this book that I found was for Chili.

The first step was to assemble all of the ingredients. The book calls for 1 pound of lean ground hamburger meat, 1 fresh onion, some mushrooms, tomatoes, green peppers, canned diced tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, shredded cheese, and kidney beans. I also like to add spicy Italian sausage and black beans, along with the occasional can of chickpeas if I feel like my intestines (and my company) can handle them. Along with all of the fresh ingredients come the spices. For the complete novice, I recommend the cheap 99 cent packet of hot chili seasoning that you can buy at the grocery store. In fact, I use this myself. But along with that, I also add in some garlic powder, yellow curry powder, onion powder, oregano, and black pepper.

Once I have all of my ingredients assembled, next comes the hardest step; the frying pan. Before I can throw everything into the crock pot, the veggies and the meat have to be browned; otherwise they will just turn mushy and flavorless in the swirl of tomatoes and beans. I throw the Hamburg and the sausage into the pan with a little bit of butter (well I never said that this chili was healthy…) and fry them up at medium heat until they are almost cooked through. I don’t want to cook them through completely, though, because then they will just be all dried out when everything is done. Into the crock pot goes the meat. Next, I chop the onions, mushrooms, and green peppers into small pieces. I actually prefer big chinks of veggies, but after listening to my ex husband bitch for 5 years that the veggies were gross and witness him pile them up on the side of his plate, I’ve become accustomed to the smaller, diced style. Into the frying pan with them, along with more butter. Once browned, the veggies join the meat in the crock pot.

Now that the frying is over with, it’s time to start mixing. Everything else on the ingredients list goes into the crock pot. After I open the cans of beans and tomatoes, I make sure to drain them thoroughly into the sink to avoid making the chili too thin. Once all of the fresh ingredients are added, I dump the packet of hot chili seasoning in. Sometimes, depending on the size of the pot of chili I’m making, I’ll use 2 packets. Now I get the big spoon from my little drawer of idiot proof cooking utensils and start to stir the conglomerate of colorful grease in the pot. It’s very important to stir the chili thoroughly, making sure to break up all the little pockets of seasoning. Otherwise, when great uncle Larry with the heart condition is eating, he might hit one of those little firebombs and take a trip to another plane of existence. Once everything is mixed, the lid goes on, and I set the crock pot to low if I have 9-10 hours to spare, or to high if I need the chili soon, like in 4-5 hours. I have to say, however, that it always comes out better when it can fester in the pot for a whole day or whole night.

I usually use this recipe when I can throw it together first thing in the morning and let it cook all day while I’m slaving away at work or school. As soon as I open the front door, I’m hit by a wall of spicy chili fog. In the kitchen, the crock pot is covered with overflowing chili juice. I take off the steamy cover and start to stir. Now is the time to add the final ingredients. As I said before, along with the chili for dummies seasoning packet, I also add some oregano, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, and yellow curry powder. I add them in slowly, stirring and taste testing as I go. Now, as much as I hate to give away my secrets, there is one more thing to add. Over the years, I’ve done much experimenting in the realm of tomatoes and bean based concoctions. I’ve found that the only way to successfully enjoy the spiciness and flavor simultaneously is to add a pinch of sugar. So, now all that’s left to do is to get the ladle, dump some into a bowl, and enjoy! Oh yes, and one more thing: make sure to have plenty of beano handy, because you’re in for a rough ride tonight.

Prompt #5
Contrary to popular belief, it is completely possible to get a traffic ticket without ever having to see the blaze of blue lights blaring in your rear view mirror. As all of you EMCC students may have noticed, Bangor P.D. has decided that they would put their radar unit on our campus right behind Maine hall. Coincidentally, this just happens to be right in the flight plan of all of the Diesel and automotive students on their way to Penobscot hall. This particular machine is calibrated so that when a student passes it going more than 15 mph, it flashes your speed in red. When you slow down to the speed limit or below, it reads in amber colored characters. A favorite pastime for some of us (myself included) over the past few weeks has been to drop down a gear and mash the gas to see what we could get for a number on the readout. All in good fun, right? WRONG! Yesterday a classmate informed us all that he received a 215 dollar fine in the mail because that little machine apparently has a built in camera that snaps a nice photo of your liscence plate every time those numbers flash red. Sickening isn't it? So now for the next month I'll be saying a little prayer every time I unlock my mailbox, hoping that I don't see anything from the violations bureau...Especially considering that I actually managed to hit 42 mph one day...As impressive at that seemed at the time, a charge of criminal speeding being only 3 mph away seems a bit irresponsible now that I may have been caught.

freestyle #11
After speech class this morning, I decided that I had better heed the warnings my stomach was giving me and get some breakfast. Instead of taking time to go up the Hogan road for a high class meal at mcdonalds, I decided to go for cafeteria food. I was surprised at how good everything looked. Gone were the days of mystery meat chili and wrinkly hot dogs from elementary school. I loaded up my stryrofoam doggie bag with my various assortment of culinary hostages and went to pay. The only problem, as it turns out, is that our cafeteria doesn't take debit cards. After a short moment of panic as a direct result of the horrors of direct deposit, I found out that they do take checks. Crisis averted. Now I can sit in front of the computer in the Automotive library and type some wonderfully exciting freestyle entries in my blog. Well, actually, I'll have to let you go, as my breakfast sandwich requires the attention of not just one but two of my typing hands.

Contrast essay

TNT. We’ve all heard of it. Highly explosive and volatile, it’s not something that the untrained person should dabble with. My family and I are no strangers to TNTs destructive properties. When I was 13 years old, my mother gave birth to identical twin boys, Timmy and Tommy (TNT). From the time that they were born, the boys have had 2 very distinct personalities. Short for their age and rather wiry, Timmy and Tommy share their looks right down to the fingerprints that they leave on all of the mirrors in the house. They have beautiful green eyes courtesy of our mother, and a mischievous grin that reminds me of my stepfather’s sarcastic sense of humor and dry wit. But although my little brothers look so much alike that they could be interchangeable, the similarities end skin deep.

A flannel shirt with missing buttons, and jeans with grass stains and road rash holes. This is the outfit that my brother Tommy decided was appropriate for church last Sunday. Down the stairs he came with a big grin on his face and a ninja turtle in his hand. Completely clueless about fashion, he is the kid that always comes to class wearing clashing colors and mismatched socks, all the while wondering why the girls in the corner are giggling at him. Timmy, on the other hand, wouldn’t be caught dead in most of the get ups that Tommy parades around in. My mother is always kept busy with sewing because whenever any of Timmys clothes get ripped from playing, he refuses to wear them again until the holes are repaired and the buttons are replaced.

Timmys clothing style is not the only thing about him that is stuffy and conservative. Not one to make light of many situations, Timmy doesn’t have much of a sense of humor. Many times over the years have I tried to illicit a laugh from the little guy, and many times have my jokes been met with a blank stare and a groan. However, as Timmy is busy ignoring my valiant attempts at entertainment, Tommy is laughing right along with me, matching my gross and sometimes highly inappropriate comedy acts with his own.

Along with Timmys conservative approach to humor comes his conservative approach to school. Every day, he walks in the door from the school bus, grabs a snack, and settles right in to his homework. Always an A student, my parents are always proud to go to the parent teacher conferences and hear about how dedicated and responsible one of their sons is. Last year, my brother Tommy was sent to the principles office 15 times for indiscretions ranging from not completing his homework to blowing spitballs at the chalkboard when the teacher was writing out a math problem. This year, he has already managed to amass 5 late library book notices, 2 detentions, and 2 unsatisfactory grades on his report card.

Last night I called the house to see how the boys were doing. Tommy answered the phone completely ecstatic because he had received his first A in the school year. It was on an essay that he had to write in English class, as the teacher had said that she wanted it to be of the humorous variety. Timmy, however, was not so happy. The best that he had been able to achieve was a C+. Hopefully this is the way that the rest of their days go. That each of them will be recognized separately as very different people with very different but equally wonderful talents, regardless of how similar they are in appearance.

Classification essay

The other day I went grocery shopping at the Wal-Mart super center in Brewer. After I had filled my cart with the usual array of unhealthy fare, I navigated my behemoth of a cart into the shortest line I could find. In front of me, a rather large woman was unloading her groceries onto the belt. A quick scan over her collection and I had to wonder what I was missing. Every thing she put up had a label claiming that the product inside was low in something. Low in fat, low in sugar, low in carbs. If I couldn’t see this woman, I would’ve assumed she was much smaller than she is. But it seems as though each of these labels has something to hide. Most seem as though they are just using their “diet” labels as a ploy to get people to buy food that is probably a heart attack or diabetic episode waiting to happen, all because it would probably cost too much to actually make a healthy product...

The first label, “low in fat”, seems like it’s such a great concept. Every day we hear commercials on TV and read magazine articles that proclaim how terrible fat is for your body. After all, that is what all of that lumpy stuff is on your behind after the holidays. It makes people think that if they don’t eat anything with fat in it, then they won’t get fat. Well, this is just not the case. For example, if I followed this concept, I could go out and buy a whole months supply of sour patch kids, skittles, and starburst candy and expect to lose weight if this was all that I ate. Now how do you think that would work out? Even though the candy is “fat free”, is still is basically pure sugar. When we eat too much sugar, our bodies turn the excess into fat, basically defeating the purpose of low fat dieting.

The second label, “low in sugar” must seem fabulous after reading the truth about “low in fat” labels. After all, if something is low in sugar, then it must be low in calories right? Then that must mean that you can eat more of it and not have your body turn into a cellulite factory. Well, unfortunately I get to be the bearer of bad news again. If I thought that I could lose weight by just consuming low in sugar items, then I should be able to live off of red meat and potatoes for a month and look like a supermodel. Now again, how well do you think that would work in the real world? Even though your meals wouldn’t be dripping with sugar calories, they would be fat and cholesterol laden, and after eating your manly meal, so would you.

And now we come to the most misleading label of all, the “low in carbs” label. I’m sure that you have heard from somewhere the buzz about the low carb diet. It claims that if you just limit your carb total to a certain number every day, then you can eat whatever you want and not get fat. For example, I could supposedly have a greasy breakfast of bacon, eggs, and sausage, a lunch of steak dipped in butter with a side of canola oil, and a dinner of fried sausage and peppers, and lose 5 pounds per week. Think again. Not only are you taking years off of your ability to stave off a heart attack, but if you do manage to lose any weight, it’s because your body has gone into starvation mode without its main source of energy, carbs.

As I watched Ms. Diet food waddle her way out of the store, I took a minute to take inventory of what I had in my cart. Between the full fat cottage cheese, fudge brownie mix, and the whole milk, you would think that I would be huge. Although I might not be all that thin, I have managed to keep myself at a healthy weight according to the BMI chart. I think that the moral of the story is that there isn’t any “miracle food” that will make you lose weight without having to pay attention to what goes into your mouth. Everything needs to be eaten in moderation. As they say, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips…